I’m Never Going Back.

So from my last blog post, it sounds like I’m living my best life. It sounds like I have no problems at all. 

Although at times I try to live my best life, I need to be completely honest.

I find myself writing the word “honestly” a lot nowadays. Who wants to read about something that holds no honesty? I’d rather not spend time writing something that isn’t true because the world is full of fakers and Christians don’t need to follow that model. I don’t wanna be one and I doubt Jesus wanted His disciples to be either. 

So here is the honest truth about how I am feeling currently:

First, I have A LOT of feelings. The problem is getting them out. I have been taught to be a thinker. I learned this from my brothers’ (I’m incredibly grateful for this.) I almost always analyze a situation before I react. So to get my feelings and thoughts typed out seems impossible sometimes because when I finished processing something, everyone else is onto the next thing. 

So here are my leftover thoughts.

Second, I LOVE Rwanda. I love the people, the children, the culture, and the views. These people have been so broken by their pasts but they take that pain and they turn it into something beautiful. Recently, we have been going into random homes and telling people about Jesus and letting them ask questions about Jesus. It’s been really cool to see their hard faces turn soft and joyful the minute they touch my white skin and my soft hair. 

Just today, I met some children in one of these villages and they walked with me all the way home just shouting “WHITE PERSON.” It’s funny how these small things fill my heart with joy. Although, it will be nice to not be called “white person” and instead by my name when I get back to the States. 

So these things are incredible. I love my World Race life. I love the relationships I’m making and the smiles I encounter. But if I was being honest… it’s SO hard to remain focused these last 37 days. I am 37 days away from AC, hot showers, healthy meals, my car, and hugging my beautiful mama. It’s been so hard, readers. Some days I am so discouraged by being so close but so far that I forget where I actually am: AFRICA.

I AM IN AFRICA.

Recently, I had to sit with the Lord and remind myself of this. I remind myself that ANYTHING could happen TODAY. I get to live every single day as if the World Race was leading up to TODAY. Everything I have learned so far about Jesus Christ is leading up to TODAY.

And then I thought to myself… How many people back home need to hear this??

So, followers, what’s been going on recently in your life that makes it seem like your stuck? This is the life that God our King has asked YOU to live and no one else. 

Do you see how much power is in that? 

No one else could do what He has asked of you. Are you going to let the evil in this world decide what your situation is? Or are you going to press into the One who created you for a time such as this??

Are you stuck in a job you hate? Glorify Him through telling your coworkers the Gospel.

Are you stuck at home with the kids, while your dreams stand still for a time? Glorify Him through changing those diapers and helping with homework.

Are you stuck in school, waiting for that dream job? Glorify Him in your grades. 

Are you waiting for a promotion to provide more money? KEEP GOING. KEEP GLORIFYING HIM. 

Are you physically sick and lost hope? Keep pressing into Jesus and get that Bible out because unbelievers are watching you and He has the power to heal you.

Are your children sick and hurting? Love them with everything you have.

Are people gossiping about you? Get by yourself in your closest and ask God what He says about you.

Followers… we need to stop waiting for the best thing all the time. We need to glorify God NOW before it’s too late. Unbelievers, mockers, slanderers, and false teachers are watching you. And I promise you that praying for them is better than rolling your eyes at them.

Are we showing them that our God is greater than our waiting?? Will we continue to sing out His Name when we “feel” abandoned by God? Will we continue to give Him everything when we are in the midst of waiting?

If God created us, then waiting is all the more worth it because He makes us ALIVE. 

We are walking with the authority of Jesus Christ. We need to live like it.

Look, I know I’m only a 24 year old woman and I have a lot of life to live. I haven’t been through all the things you all have. But wouldn’t you love to get to the Throne of God and hear Him say “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You finished the race with endurance. I’m proud of you and I love you.”

Why aren’t we living like Jesus is coming back? When He does, I don’t want to be just sitting on my phone, watching life go by. 

No, I want to be praying with Esther for her Islamic family. I want to be playing soccer with Abooba in the streets and hearing her laugh and scream my name. I want to be dancing with the Church and all my new African friends. I want to be preaching to the people and telling them my King saved my brother’s life. I want to be telling my testimony of how God spared my legs from being paralyzed. I want to be telling women how to dream BIG for their lives and informing them that they are capable of so much more than the world tells them.

So let me ask you, what are you going to be doing when Jesus returns? Are you going to be watching Netflix? Or are you going to feeding the hungry, talking with the prostitutes, and playing with  your children BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE HAS ASKED YOU TO DO NOW?

The choice we make today echoes in our eternity. I hope this encourages you to choose wisely. 

I’ll leave you with a song by United Pursuit called Never Going Back: