Waiting: A Reflection on 2017

Waiting. A word that makes even the strongest people feel weak and the wisest people feel like fools. I am 22 years old and I know that I have spent the majority of my life waiting for something. Whether that’s a job answer, a person to make a decision, or God, I seem to always be waiting. And though it doesn’t feel like it, waiting is a good thing. It humbles us to our core because we have absolutely no control of our life and we need Someone to count on. But that period of waiting brings on anxiety and stress because we believe we work so much faster than God and we need someone or something to happen NOW. It’s how America is. If we need something or want something, we are capable of getting it immediately. But when it comes to our future… we are useless. And we continue to work and attempt to make things move faster but we just find ourselves spent. And then finally, when we are on our knees, crying out to Jesus for rescue and answers, peace encompasses us and we ask ourselves ‘Why did I not start on my knees?’

As I reflect on the past year, I noticed there were so many times I should have found myself on my knees but instead I burnt myself out trying to make things move on my timing. I broke promises, I frustrated people, and I started new things before finishing old. When my heart was hurting, I would solve it through things that just numbed the pain, instead of focusing on the One Who was willing to take all my wounds from me. In the end, I was covering up my pain instead of waiting on the Lord to heal me in His timing. But His timing was too slow for me and I had things to do.

We as Christians will be waiting all of our lives. Waiting on the next job or promotion, the next relationship, or the next ‘big move.’ If anything, you’re waiting to see the face of Jesus. Waiting will never be a passive thing but ALWAYS an active thing. But in the process we can honor the Lord or we can dishonor Him. We can choose to kneel at the feet of Jesus and pray or we can refuse to wait for His timing then look back and see nothing we did worked. When I see the face of Jesus, I don’t want to say “I’m sorry I didn’t pray to you whenever I had the chance. I was just too tired from my impatience.”