I distinctly remember when I looked at my good friend, Maggie, and said “I think the hardest part of the Race is over for me! I know things will be frustrating but I truly think that things are on the up for me!”

I look back on this and I can’t help but smile. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Month 7… I feel like I walked through hell. It’s funny how a phone call can make everything you thought was important seem very wrong, stupid, and boring.

My purpose for this isn’t to tell you what happened. It’s not to receive pity. It’s not to tell you how hard my life is.

My purpose is to point you towards Christ.

I have learned to sing hallelujah when my world is turned upside down. I’m still learning how to do this. It’s so easy on the World Race to say that no matter what tests me, I will sing the Name of Jesus.

Never in my life did I think that declaring His name would be the only possible thing for me to do because nothing else gives hope.

I have written many times how beautiful to see someone in the midst of battle, weeping, and declaring the Name of the Lord.

I lived this exact moment multiple times this month. To the point where I have nothing in my guts and I was surprised when a noise escaped my lungs that said: Hallelujah.

Followers, this month is hell. I don’t want to write about it at all. But I’m taking a step by writing something. I don’t have the words for my life right now. But I’m glad the Holy Spirit intervenes in times like this.

I am living proof that speaking the Name of Jesus breaks chains, makes mountains fall, and allows freedom to reign.

I have seen what evil can do. But I’ve also seen what my King can do.

My loyalty is with my King.

Maybe one day I can share everything but all I will say is this:

I am helpless, but I am not hopeless.