Kingdom Dreams

Dear Readers,

 

I can’t even begin to explain the goodness in Cambodia. I have learned so much about the Lord, myself, and His people here. To say I love it here would be an understatement.

 

I knew coming into this month… things were going to be different, as if having a new team in a new country wasn’t different enough.

 

We are working with Victory Church Cambodia this month. This ministry host has been absolutely incredible. The moment we walked into the church for the first time, the preacher and his wife, Ronald and Cynthia, greeted us with a hug and warm smiles. And for the next hour, we all worshipped together. It was some of the most raw worship I have seen so far on the Race.

 

Let me tell you a little about Ronald and his wife.

 

They are from the Philippines and are missionaries to Cambodia. Ronald grew up in a Christian home and had really great parents. But he was tempted by the world and fell away from God. When Ronald was 14 years old, he became the leader of a gang in the Philippines. Gangs were the main dealers for drugs.The cops there do not obey the law and when they see gang members, they automatically shoot at them. Not caring if they kill them or injure them.

 

One day, when Ronald was 16 years old, he woke up in the hospital with a bullet wound in his head. The pain was excruciating for him. He didn’t know if he was going to make it or not and was petrified that the police were going to come and kill him. It was in this moment that Ronald cried out to God: “Oh Lord!! If you get me out of this situation I will devote my entire life to You! I will go wherever you want me to go and I will do whatever you want me to do!”

 

Today Ronald is a church planter, walking with the Lord, and declaring the Name of the Lord to the lost. 

 

Ronald serves God with all His heart. It’s been so inspiring to witness. He loves without borders and he worships without fear and unapologetically.

 

 

With Ronald, we have evangelized in the streets, the parks, and the church. We have spoken to Buddhists, the poor, and villages. God has really given His heart to Ronald for Cambodia. I don’t know if there is something more beautiful than someone living out their purpose for the Lord.

 

I see Ronald devote his life to the Lord again and again. Pursuing lost souls, loving on children, and shepherding Victory Church. And it got me thinking about something.

 

D R E A M S.

Jesus put a dream inside of Ronald. A dream that the nation of Cambodia would turn away from Buddha and look towards Christ. Ronald has a dream that he is living out. The main reason? Because God gave him PURPOSE. God has a heart for lost people… and He has put that heart into Ronald.

 

As I am witnessing this about Ronald, I couldn’t help but sit there with the Lord and ask Him what He wanted me to do. It went kinda like this:

 

Lord, there is an aching in my heart to have purpose like Ronald. I want my heart to break for what breaks Yours and I want to do something about it. I want to use my gifts to bring You glory and honor. I want to find Your dream for me and pursue it like nothing else. Just like a wolf pursues the moon, I want to chase after everything You have for me. I don’t want my life go to waste because I didn’t use the gifts, passions, and dreams You’ve given me.

 

Soon after, I became obsessed with this idea that God gave us dreams for a purpose… There is actually a reason behind the dreams we have.

 

I was so moved by this thought that Jesus gave me dreams for a reason that I started writing down all my dreams (not caring about the logistics cause that’s how I am… lol sry) And honestly, I felt like giving up… because sometimes the curse of dreaming is that you don’t know if the dreams you have are possible.

 

But I am choosing to believe. I believe that I have dreams given by God for a reason. I believe that I’m going to live out my dreams for Him. I believe this so deep in my bones that it’s becoming incredibly difficult to write this blog. But the best way I can describe this feeling is through a song. I want you to read the lyrics carefully and realize the Kingdom that is in it. In other words, I picture myself singing this to our King.

 

It’s called Never Enough (Kelly Clarkson Edition):

 

I’m trying to hold my breath

Let it stay this way

Can’t let this moment end

You set off a dream in me

Getting louder now

Can you hear it echoing?

Take my hand

Will You share this with me?

‘Cause darling without You

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it’ll

Never be enough

Never be enough

For me

 

Do you see the Kingdom in this song?? How nothing in this world is worth anything?? Nothing will be enough unless we invite the Lord in on our passions. After all, He gave you the passion in the first place. My dreams will not be fulfilled unless God is involved in them.

I am beginning to find Kingdom in my dreams. It’s changing my life.

Let me share just a few dreams of mine:

1. I want to open up a safe home for abused women (specifically women who were Islamic) and show them the love of Jesus. And on the side of that building I want to have an orphanage.

2. I want to backpack all of Europe in a year. While I do this, I want to get random jobs and work long enough to get money for the next place. During this, I want to build relationships with the people around me and be love to them.

3. I want to public speak to women about their worth in Christ and how God has called us to fight FOR each other.

4. I want to write a book called Wild and Holy and inform people what it means to live that way.

5. I want to adopt children from all around the world so when I look around my kitchen table, I see the church.

Don’t get me wrong, I know these dreams require a lot of hard work and a lot of focus. Believe me, I have felt burdened by my dreams so many times. I would ask God, “Why would You give me such huge passions for these things and then not let them happen?”

I mean I am a college dropout that has no degree… I’m a dropout that has vision for HUGE things that I’m not capable of chasing, according to the American Dream. I find myself becoming stagnant in these moments and then I hear a faint whisper:

 

Trust Me.

 

There is so much hope in those two words. I’m not saying that God is telling me that these exact dreams will happen. But I am saying that Jesus Christ went to the cross for me. I am not going to apologize for my dreams anymore. I am not going to be afraid to pursue them anymore. I am not going to doubt whether God will use me or open doors for me anymore. He gave me these dreams to be creative. He gave me passions and desires to pursue full force. How can I let Him down?? Well I can’t. He gave me a brain that thinks outside the box. He gave me dreams too big to fit into a box.

 

Thank You Jesus for allowing me to meet Ronald. Thank You for showing me that my dreams are achievable with You.

 

 

My favorite question to ask people is “What is your dream?” It gets them thinking. It makes them think about the future and redirect themselves for their purpose. Am I doing something today that gets me closer to my dream? Or should I say God’s plan for me?

So I ask you, readers, what is your Kingdom dream? I’d love to hear it.