That time I told God no.

Have you ever had a dream? I’m not talking about the dreams you have at night while sleeping. No.

I’m talking about the dreams that keep you up at night because they make your heart beat so fast that it’s impossible to sleep. It’s the dreams that make you so passionate it makes it impossible to stand still. The dreams that put the term ‘wild’ into your eyes because it brings purpose to your life. It’s the dreams that you would consider yourself successful if it was achieved. It’s the dreams that make life feel free.

Dreams are beautiful things. There are few things that make me more hype than dreams. When people have passion about their dreams, I get so excited. And when you put them with Jesus… they become ten times more passionate and exhilarating. But more importantly, dreams become real and possible.

If I tell you every dream I have… this blog would never end. But the purpose of this entry is to let you see a glimpse of my heart and how God is using Cambodia to change my dreams for His purpose in my life.

Long story short… I heard a whisper the other day: I have given you something to say.

I am very passionate about public speaking. Not just random public speaking… Shoot, when I gave presentations in class, I found myself hating it and making a joke of everything. What I’m talking about is speaking in front of God’s people and the Holy Spirit coming through my words and saying and doing things that only He can. The first time I ever did this was after my sophomore year of college when I spoke to a bunch of high school girls about Jesus being the healer of our wounds. It was beautiful. I found a passion. But that’s all I thought it was.

Recently, I have been thinking about public speaking a lot. I haven’t forgotten that passion the Lord gave me. But the cool thing is that I’m kind of decent at speaking in front of people. Not because I just am… but because before I speak, I spiritually get on my knees before the Lord, pleading with Him to speak through me. And when He does… I can’t do anything but stand in awe of my King. Because He chose to use me to speak to His people.

Since I had been thinking about speaking so much lately, I asked the Lord to give me confirmation in it. And you know what happened? I got the opportunity to speak in front of Victory Church Cambodia about what God has done in my life. Honestly, I was only speaking for 5 minutes but I was PETRIFIED before I went up. I didn’t want to do it. Literally, I just asked God to give me confirmation and when He did.. I was like “yeah right! Not doing that. Sorry!! No.”

I regretted it immediately and then I found myself asking God to speak through me. Over and over and over again. “God help me. Let them see You. Let every word be of You!!’

As I was walking up to speak, I knew God didn’t want me to take my phone up with me. All my notes were on it… so I brought it up anyway. But the second I got up there, I didn’t look at it once except to look up a verse. I literally set my phone down. And I hardly remember anything. Let me tell you… Usually when you don’t remember what you said… that means the Holy Spirit spoke straight through you.

I sat down. I was shook. God used me again and I couldn’t believe it.

All I heard??

I’ve given you something to say. Say it.

So here I am readers, once again. Dumbfounded by the goodness of God. I believe that God gives us certain dreams and passions at certain moments in our lives so that He can use us.

In this season, God has given me the biggest dream for speaking to His people. No matter the size of the crowd. No matter the length of what I am saying.

I don’t know how long I’m going to have this passion for speaking. But until it’s not there… I’m going to shout His words until my lungs give out.

I have given you something to say. Say it.

Readers, if God has given you a dream and you’re passionate about it… I beg you to ask God for confirmation and when He brings opportunities your way… don’t say no. Go head first into it. God created us to dream. God created us to live the most exhilarating lives on the planet because we have the God of the universe living INSIDE us.

Listen for His voice and pursue that dream. And give Him all the glory.